sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
