Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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