Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
