singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
