did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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