Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
