i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
