I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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