sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
