If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
