He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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