Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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