I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
