nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
