Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
