I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
