Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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