This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
