Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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