If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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