It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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