What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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