Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
