Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You just made me feel so damn special
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
