Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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