If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
And the cops told us we were all naked.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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