you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
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Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
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True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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