also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
