I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
