Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Someone signed my nipple.
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