i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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