i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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