New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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