I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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