do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
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