The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
