It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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