New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize