So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We were destined to go to rehab together
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
