I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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