S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
