nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
