none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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