ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
whose parrot is this?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
