I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
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No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
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it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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