I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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