I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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