There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
