I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize