She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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