Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
