Im at strip club and am horny
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
