You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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