the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
This house was built for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
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