guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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