just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
