Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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