I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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