So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
