Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
