We're facebook friends in real life
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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