he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
