just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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