It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
