you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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